Doesnt that sound ominous? The LAST DAY of 2010, EVER. I am celebrating by creating a new set of rules to live my life by. My resolution is to be the person I want to be. It sounds simple, and silly... but really, how many of us are who we REALLY want to be? If you took a step back and looked at yourself, would you be proud of every attribute? I wouldnt. There are things I dont like about myself. And Im not talking about my mousy brown hair. I yell at my kids when Im frustrated. I am lazy and forgetful sometimes. I eat a whole box of chocolate in one sitting. Who better to change these things than myself? If I dont do it, no one is going to it for me. So here's to the new year, and my new self!
First off, my lazyness/forgetfulness. I feel awful when I forget something important. I feel like a let down to myself and family when I am too lazy to put effort into the day. So I wrote a list of things I would like to accomplish in a week. Things like sweeping a few times a week, sending a postcard to my mom, trying a new recipe and taking time for myself. I also wrote down having a glass of wine only a few times a night, coffee only on weekends. I will check them off as I go. Hopefully I can amp myself up enough to feel a sense of accomplishment when I vacuum or paint my nails, both of which are on my list. I just need to DO more, chores and fun stuff alike!
Next is my diet. 'Diet' doesnt mean starving ones self or eating awful food. Your diet is what you eat. I am changing my diet. I am going to prepare better foods, from scratch, for my family and self. And I am going to stop eating when I am full. Because damn I love to eat, and I will eat everything on my plate, everything on my kids plates when theyre done, and everything still sitting on the stove when Im cleaning up. Portion control! Thats is my plan.
For my kids, I will turn on the tv less. Much less. I have been slowly weaning them from their tv time they had when we were all sick and stuck in the house for a month. A MONTH. We will do more crafty time! We will go for more walks! I will have more one on one time with each kid! I will start teaching Charlie his abcs, I will start teaching Maddy how to read.
My big project of the year is to find god. Maddy is asking me about death, about life, about god... and I dont know what to tell her. I believe in something, Im not an athiest. But I dont know what. And the term 'god' isnt really right for what I believe in. So I need to take some time to ponder. I was raised Catholic but thats not right for me. I do appreciate being raised with some sort of belief system. I want that for my kids too. If they decide its not right for them when they are older, thats fine. But its nice to have something to believe in.
By posting all of my hopes and dreams for the new year, I hope I will be more likely to stick with them. Although no one really reads this, I feel like I am telling the world that this is my plan and if I dont stick to it the world will know. I hope that by making these changes in my life I can become happier with myself, happier in my life and prevent that awful depression that creeps up on my every mid january.
My goal is to be a new and improved person, the person I am supposed to be, by summer. Watch out world, I am finally growing up!
Other things on my list of self improvements-
stop being so shy, stop being such a bumbling idiot when I try to talk to another adult
start dressing how I used to dress, as odd as it was, with the confidence I once had.
stop waiting for my life to start and start it myself. educate myself more
start making more art, stop worrying if its 'good enough' all the time
stop feeling bad about things and start making changes to fix whatevers bothering me
I know I can be a better mom, a better friend, a better PERSON! So why dont I start with the first day of 2011?
No comments:
Post a Comment